Bring joy, ease and lightness into your life.
You are always looking after others.Your tendency to People Please leaves you emotionally drained, frustrated, and physically exhausted.
You have been trying to figure out why you feel the need to please other people while neglecting your own health, energy and desires. You suspect, quite rightly, that this tendency started quite young... ...but you still can't figure out where. |
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Reconnect with your Younger Self.This visualization to Meet Your Younger Self will help you go back in time to reconnect with, and comfort, that little girl who thought that the only way she was lovable was if she was pleasing someone else.
When you meet her, and realize what was going on in her head and heart, it becomes easier for you to clear away the messages that were not true and step into the deep knowledge that you no longer need to People Please because you are lovable just as you are. |
You identify as a People Pleaser.
On the days when you are wondering whether you are actually enough, whether you are worthy of what you have, whether you actually deserve all you have worked for in your life, you find a certain comfort in knowing that you are “highly valued” for your People Pleasing ways.
You know it’s a drain on your energy and life, but you also think it’s not really a bad thing. After all, you are much loved and you get a little hit from being that sweet-tempered person that others rely on. It’s okay to admit that it’s a little badge of honour for you to know you are the dependable, capable “sorter outer” of everyone else’s mess.
However, what you’ve forgotten as you grew older is that...
You know it’s a drain on your energy and life, but you also think it’s not really a bad thing. After all, you are much loved and you get a little hit from being that sweet-tempered person that others rely on. It’s okay to admit that it’s a little badge of honour for you to know you are the dependable, capable “sorter outer” of everyone else’s mess.
However, what you’ve forgotten as you grew older is that...
...people pleasing is a poisoned chalice.On the outside it’s all golden and sparkly - that part where people are always telling you how “good” and “kind” you are. On the inside it’s full of “shoulds” and “can’ts” and draining, unwelcome commitments. When you first taste from the chalice, it tastes bitter. And you, like me, were probably very young when you were offered your inaugural sip. |
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I couldn't have been more than four.I was “asked” to give away all my precious plastic jewelry for a treasure hunt for other children. I was told that these children needed it more than I did and that it would be unkind not to “share” my treasured possessions with them.
So I stood there, watching other children walk away with my things. I felt shamed when first I refused to comply. And I was then called a good girl — good for giving away things that felt like part of me. I knew this didn’t feel right. It tasted bitter. But I was being initiated into the belief that that bitterness was how being a good girl tasted. |
Think about those times in your childhood.Where you stood defenceless against a boundary infraction, a bitter taste in your mouth, a fake smile on your face, and your little heart breaking.
We learnt that this was what made the adults happy. And we needed the adults to be happy because they were our only source of love and security. How could we have possibly known then that we would interpret this as the need to give away our sovereignty over ourselves? |
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It's no wonder that we became unable to voice our sadness.
That we convinced ourselves that others come first.. and a nice person gives everything away.
It's time to step into who you really are. |
Meet the Younger You
When you reconnect with your younger self, and realize what was going on in her head and heart, it is the first step in a journey to bring back all of the pieces of yourself... the pieces of you that know how to be in touch with yourself.
This visualization was created to help you take the first step to reconnect with your younger self — so you can see where the tendency to people please started, so that you can forgive that young child and recognise your own worth.
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Hi, I'm Orla.Coach, Reiki Master, mother of three, Irish, intuitive, empathic, softly spoken and absolutely passionate about holding a safe space for people.
I'm a recovering people pleaser. I know how absolutely exhausting it is to be looking after everyone else, unable to say no, with your sense of self worth based mainly on your ability to take care of everyone except yourself. I also know from experience the joy, lightness and energy that is created by coming home to yourself, connecting with all of the parts of you, and stepping into your own autonomy. In short, the amazing vibrancy that comes from being the leading lady in your own life. |
Imagine...
Feeling lighthearted and joyful, taking control of your time
and energy. Being alive with peace, ease and love. Waking up each morning feeling peaceful and calm. |
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