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Putting everyone else first has been part of your journey.
It's NOT your destination! |
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What stops you?
What stops you, an intelligent, articulate, kind, capable, woman, from being able to say no to the things that drain you?
What stops you from listening to your body when it says it's time to slow down?
What stops you from having more fun, doing the things you like to do?
What stops you from making the changes you say you want to make?
Often I hear that it's guilt.
It would make you guilty to care for yourself.
To put yourself first.
But I don't think that's quite it.
I think it's fear that holds you back.
Fear is what's stopping you from having exactly the life you want to lead.
You have been a people pleaser since you were a very young child.
It’s behaviour that kept you safe at the time but now it’s just exhausting.
However, the people around you, people you love very much, are used to being looked after by you, all the time.
And, when you try to change the dynamic, there are arguments, fights, discussions, tears, anger, rage, sulks, unkind words and general freak outs.
All things designed to throw people pleasers into a state of such tension and anxiety that it becomes easier to just drop the subject and go on as you were.
Except it’s eating at you internally.
You are walking on eggshells in your own home, around your own children, your partner, your parents.
You are afraid to say the things you need to say.
You have a constant lump in your throat.
Your tummy is a mass of anxiety.
And you are embarrassed to even mention it to anyone else.
You think the shame of having to admit you are afraid to establish boundaries with your own loved ones is too much to even verbalise.
What if I told you you are not alone?
That this is really common?
Especially for kind, gentle, compassionate, women who want the absolute best for the people they love.
That it’s your very desire to not let anyone you love suffer in any way, shape or form, that started this pattern.
That you, as a child, felt your value, your purpose, was to keep everyone happy.
That still, as a grown woman, the idea that someone is upset with you makes you horribly uncomfortable.
And then I could tell you there is a solution.
There is a way for you to see that your value is not in what you “do” for everyone else, but rather in who you are, and always have been.
A way, with my coaching support, honesty, humour, insight, (and way less time than you might think), to see your own value and start to deeply respect yourself.
When other people see you show up fearlessly as you, they treat you differently.
When you value yourself, the courage to have difficult conversations comes easily.
Deepening your relationship with your young adult children in a way that makes all of you feel relaxed, connected and loved.
Having the courage to say what YOU actually want erases the tension between you and your partner.
You, stepping up, with grounded self respect and courage, ensuring your needs and boundaries are met, and improving your relationship with all the people you care for?
Is this something you would like to bring into your life?
What stops you, an intelligent, articulate, kind, capable, woman, from being able to say no to the things that drain you?
What stops you from listening to your body when it says it's time to slow down?
What stops you from having more fun, doing the things you like to do?
What stops you from making the changes you say you want to make?
Often I hear that it's guilt.
It would make you guilty to care for yourself.
To put yourself first.
But I don't think that's quite it.
I think it's fear that holds you back.
Fear is what's stopping you from having exactly the life you want to lead.
You have been a people pleaser since you were a very young child.
It’s behaviour that kept you safe at the time but now it’s just exhausting.
However, the people around you, people you love very much, are used to being looked after by you, all the time.
And, when you try to change the dynamic, there are arguments, fights, discussions, tears, anger, rage, sulks, unkind words and general freak outs.
All things designed to throw people pleasers into a state of such tension and anxiety that it becomes easier to just drop the subject and go on as you were.
Except it’s eating at you internally.
You are walking on eggshells in your own home, around your own children, your partner, your parents.
You are afraid to say the things you need to say.
You have a constant lump in your throat.
Your tummy is a mass of anxiety.
And you are embarrassed to even mention it to anyone else.
You think the shame of having to admit you are afraid to establish boundaries with your own loved ones is too much to even verbalise.
What if I told you you are not alone?
That this is really common?
Especially for kind, gentle, compassionate, women who want the absolute best for the people they love.
That it’s your very desire to not let anyone you love suffer in any way, shape or form, that started this pattern.
That you, as a child, felt your value, your purpose, was to keep everyone happy.
That still, as a grown woman, the idea that someone is upset with you makes you horribly uncomfortable.
And then I could tell you there is a solution.
There is a way for you to see that your value is not in what you “do” for everyone else, but rather in who you are, and always have been.
A way, with my coaching support, honesty, humour, insight, (and way less time than you might think), to see your own value and start to deeply respect yourself.
When other people see you show up fearlessly as you, they treat you differently.
When you value yourself, the courage to have difficult conversations comes easily.
Deepening your relationship with your young adult children in a way that makes all of you feel relaxed, connected and loved.
Having the courage to say what YOU actually want erases the tension between you and your partner.
You, stepping up, with grounded self respect and courage, ensuring your needs and boundaries are met, and improving your relationship with all the people you care for?
Is this something you would like to bring into your life?
Hi, I'm Orla.
You know the way you sometimes just need to talk to your mum? Except you actually need a mother who is nurturing, kind, and listens to you without an agenda?
Not everyone was born to a woman who is available to them, physically, emotionally or spiritually. But the need to be really heard and emotionally held by a maternal figure never goes away.
That’s where I come in.
Put the kettle on... it’s always easier to talk with a warm cup of tea in your hand. Let’s see where we can bring more light, warmth and self compassion to your life.
You know the way you sometimes just need to talk to your mum? Except you actually need a mother who is nurturing, kind, and listens to you without an agenda?
Not everyone was born to a woman who is available to them, physically, emotionally or spiritually. But the need to be really heard and emotionally held by a maternal figure never goes away.
That’s where I come in.
Put the kettle on... it’s always easier to talk with a warm cup of tea in your hand. Let’s see where we can bring more light, warmth and self compassion to your life.
