You identify as People Pleaser. You know it’s a drain on your energy and life but you also think it’s not really a bad thing. After all, you are much loved, well liked, and you get a little hit from being that sweet tempered person that others rely on. Go on, admit it, it’s a little badge of honour for you to know you are the dependable, capable “sorter outer” of everyone else’s mess.
On the days when you are wondering whether you are actually enough, whether you are worthy of what you have, whether you actually deserve all you have worked for in your life, you find a certain comfort in knowing that you are “ highly valued” for your People Pleasing ways. You think of looking after others as a foundation stone of your life.
The problem is that it’s not a foundation stone. It’s a lump of water soaked, termite ridden wood. And you can’t build and grow on something that cannot actually support you.
People Pleasing is a poisoned chalice. On the outside it’s all golden and sparkly - that part where people are always telling you how “good” and “kind” you are. On the inside it’s full of “shoulds” and “can’ts” and draining, unwelcome commitments.
You recognise yourself as a People Pleaser because it sounds nice, (if exhausting), to be looking after everyone else. What you are not seeing is that you don’t do this because you like people so much. You do this because you are APPROVAL DEPENDANT.
Approval Dependence is not shiny and pretty. It’s like an invasive vine that has grown around you, stopping you from growing and expanding the way you were meant to.
The other people in your life will not help you cut that vine. They really like having you around, picking up the pieces they so casually drop.
You need to cut through that vine of Approval Dependence yourself.
When we talk, I will help you forge your own metaphorical sword and show you how to sharpen it. I will shine a spotlight on the bits of your life that have to be cut out, connect you with the physical signs of Approval Dependance and gently help you develop the courage to recognise that the only approval you really need is your own.
During these six Sword Forging Sessions with me you will -
Start to realise EXACTLY where Approval Dependence is occurring in your life.
Recognise EXACTLY where in your body the signals of a potential Approval Dependence action occurs, and what to do about it.
Spot where you are using Approval Dependence language on YOURSELF.
Explore what it feels like to make the decisions YOU want to make.
Cope with the reactions of other people when you don’t jump to attention simply because they want you to.
Realise that you are really worthy of your own time and attention.
How do I know tht this is can happen? Because every week I see clients recognise and discard the old stories about what they have to do, whose approval they need, what they can and can’t have, allowing them to move ahead to create the relationships, careers and lives they really want to live. And it can happen with more ease than you might possibly expect!
Are you finally willing to cut away all the things that are strangling you? Are you ready to build a new foundation for a life that brings you exuberant joy, deep connection with loved ones, and time for the things that are most important to you? Then join me now to forge your sword. It’s time.
Who am I?
You know the way you sometimes just need to talk to your mum?
Except you actually need a mother who is nurturing, non judgemental and listens to you without an agenda?
Not everyone was born to a woman who is available to them, physically, emotionally or spiritually.
But the need to be heard, really heard, and emotionally held, by a maternal figure, never goes away.
That’s where I come in.
Bring the things you really need to talk about. The hard things you want someone to listen to. Things that you might be tempted to keep in the dark, all the while knowing that the monsters under the bed are better faced head on, with someone who will encourage you to turn on the flashlight.
I can’t promise you cookies and milk but I can offer a warm, nurturing space where you can be held emotionally and listened to deeply.
P.S. Your mother probably didn’t speak with an Irish accent, swear occasionally, or encourage you to go for what it is that makes you deliriously happy, but they are all non negotiables when you work with me.
During these six Sword Forging Sessions with me you will -
Start to realise EXACTLY where Approval Dependence is occurring in your life.
Recognise EXACTLY where in your body the signals of a potential Approval Dependence action occurs, and what to do about it.
Spot where you are using Approval Dependence language on YOURSELF.
Explore what it feels like to make the decisions YOU want to make.
Cope with the reactions of other people when you don’t jump to attention simply because they want you to.
Realise that you are really worthy of your own time and attention.
How do I know tht this is can happen? Because every week I see clients recognise and discard the old stories about what they have to do, whose approval they need, what they can and can’t have, allowing them to move ahead to create the relationships, careers and lives they really want to live. And it can happen with more ease than you might possibly expect!
Are you finally willing to cut away all the things that are strangling you? Are you ready to build a new foundation for a life that brings you exuberant joy, deep connection with loved ones, and time for the things that are most important to you? Then join me now to forge your sword. It’s time.
Who am I?
You know the way you sometimes just need to talk to your mum?
Except you actually need a mother who is nurturing, non judgemental and listens to you without an agenda?
Not everyone was born to a woman who is available to them, physically, emotionally or spiritually.
But the need to be heard, really heard, and emotionally held, by a maternal figure, never goes away.
That’s where I come in.
Bring the things you really need to talk about. The hard things you want someone to listen to. Things that you might be tempted to keep in the dark, all the while knowing that the monsters under the bed are better faced head on, with someone who will encourage you to turn on the flashlight.
I can’t promise you cookies and milk but I can offer a warm, nurturing space where you can be held emotionally and listened to deeply.
P.S. Your mother probably didn’t speak with an Irish accent, swear occasionally, or encourage you to go for what it is that makes you deliriously happy, but they are all non negotiables when you work with me.
